What will I discover now that I've crossed into my eighties? I feel drawn forward. I like to remember Jacqueline, a dear friend who was Father Thomas's secretary — the founder of L'Arche, alongside me — and when we started the community, she helped us renovate and furnish our homes. Her presence was precious. Now she has Parkinson's disease. It moves me deeply. She's in a wheelchair, struggling to speak, and we struggle to understand her. And yet, in her weakness, she radiates peace. She has become a presence of love.
Following her example, my hope and my prayer is that when weakness comes for me, I will accept it and find joy in what I am given. Shakespeare writes in King Lear: "growing old, we shall be like birds in a cage (a weakened body): thus we shall live praying, singing, telling old stories, smiling at golden butterflies, listening to poor devils bring us news from the court; we shall claim the mystery of things as if we were spies of God." For the future, I will travel less and no longer visit the communities. I had dreamed of going to Vietnam, to China, of returning to Côte d'Ivoire and Haiti and to the communities of Latin America — illness kept me from going there last year.
My dream now is simply to dwell in my own community, my home at Trosly. I want to try to live what I have spoken of for so many years: to deepen my relationship with Jesus and with my brothers and sisters.
As long as I am able, I will continue to lead retreats at the Ferme, the small spiritual center at the heart of L'Arche. My joy is to announce Jesus and the love of God — his humble presence in those who are most vulnerable.
So I am a pilgrim, eager to live this final stage not as a loss but as the discovery of a new way of living. A pilgrimage is full of surprises: encounters with wonderful people but also various mishaps, blistered feet, bad weather. Pilgrims have no security — no lodging, no food — except knowing where they are going: the holy place. On this road, we can see in all the unforeseen and sometimes hostile events the hand of God protecting and sustaining those who are weakest and most vulnerable.