We are a three-part community: handicapped people of every age, friends from every generation, and parents. Once a month we gather for an afternoon. The young people—handicapped and non-handicapped alike—come together to sing, play, dance. For them, no problem at all. But we parents struggled quite a bit to find a structure that actually worked for us.
At first, some parents came only to drop off their children and pick them up. Others stayed, but they ended up talking about their problems. There was nothing truly constructive happening. Everyone wanted to tell their own story—the worries their child brought home every day, the household that brought no peace to anyone.
Things changed dramatically once our animation team decided to build in some structured reflection. We prepare ahead. We choose an article, distribute it to everyone beforehand so they can read it, and then we craft questions to guide the conversation.
Here's an example. When we chose the theme "How We Talk About Them," we prepared these questions:
— How do we talk about them? Do we realize they can pick up on what we're saying even when they don't understand the words?
— When they ask us embarrassing questions in front of others, how do we handle it? How do we answer?
— When we talk about them, does what we say risk closing them off further, or can it help them grow?