The subtitle's key word echoes language once used by an Italian economics minister to describe a generation of young people overly coddled and shielded by their parents—unprepared to take responsibility for their own futures or their lives. The remark sparked fierce criticism, accused of ignoring the real obstacles young people face when trying to leave home, find work, or buy a house.
The debate continues to ripple through our culture, and it forms the backdrop for this book. But Osvaldo Poli, a psychologist and psychotherapist devoted to strengthening parental capacity through consultation and lectures, goes far deeper than the question of dependent adults. He explores what happens to children who are smothered with affection and indulgence, shielded beyond all reason from frustration or sacrifice.
When parents work desperately to spare their children all hardship, someone else pays the cost. Often it is the mother—driven by a powerful wish to protect her child from pain, no matter what.
Even if you don't think this applies to you, the book offers valuable reflection on education, on healthy relationships built on reciprocity and fairness. Notably, despite its title, fathers need this book too. Their role in raising children is indispensable and often overlooked.
A mother and father both matter. When a mother loves too much, perhaps her partner has stepped back from his own role—or never fully stepped into it.
C.T., 2009
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