We received this letter from a mother: "At one of the centers where Carlotta, our daughter with autism, was enrolled, staff tended to let the children do as they pleased without intervening. At another center, they punished frequently. It seems to us that in both cases, the young people weren't asked strongly enough to take responsibility for their actions. For Carlotta and our other children, it would help to know your thoughts on this."
We asked Father Bissonier for his reflections on the subject.
In education, the question of punishment involves many different dimensions, and it is a substantial task to address it adequately in a few pages. The matter becomes even more delicate when we are trying to encourage progress or curb the behavior of a child whose passivity and difficulties stem from a medical condition.
Two Temptations
Educators—whether parents or professionals—face two temptations: on one hand, the urge to consider all methods acceptable if they produce results deemed essential; on the other, the inclination to abandon punishment altogether, reasoning that the handicapped child has no real capacity to do better or behave differently, and therefore bears no responsibility for his actions.
It seems to us vital to resist both of these tendencies. We must always remember that "the end does not justify the means." Consequently, we cannot resort to "any method whatsoever" simply to extract from the child whatever we desire, however noble the goal.
Yet no human being, however handicapped, should ever be regarded as completely without capacity, freedom, or responsibility. Therefore, he cannot be treated as without fault or merit.
It is therefore legitimate, in re-education as in education, to employ punishment when needed. The question is how to apply it, since punishment can produce either improvement or deterioration.
Some Guidelines
We offer here a few guidelines:
- The best reward is the one that flows from the action itself. Consider, for example, the joy of learning to read as a result of the effort it required, the happiness that comes from walking after physical and motor training, the satisfaction of controlling oneself after breaking a bad habit.
- Close behind comes the child's sense of gratification at earning the approval—or the painful feeling of triggering the disapproval—of someone he respects: a parent, educator, friend, or even the Lord himself. But beware of saying something like, "Do this, or don't do that, to please me!" It is not about pleasing us, but about what is good or bad for the child. He must feel this in everything we do and say.
- Only in the third place should we consider adding, if it truly proves necessary and if we have found no other way to succeed, a reward or punishment that might be called "external"—something artificial, imposed from outside the action itself. This is the "carrot and stick" approach: a candy as reward, or denial of sweets as punishment. Let's be honest: resorting to this is always somewhat of a failure on the educator's part. He feels forced to use artificial means because he has not managed to achieve his aim through the natural consequences of behavior. Clearly, we judge differently those who resort to such measures only in extreme circumstances, when no other approach seems possible—like a parent's quick swat to prevent a child from running into traffic.
- As Christians, we have an even deeper reason to be wary of "external" punishments. Our love for the child participates in God's own love for him and for us. We sometimes imagine God in our image—as one who uses any sanction to punish or reward humans and bend them to his will. In truth, God rewards and punishes us according to what flows naturally from our own actions. Do we not feel happy when we do good and sad when we have done wrong? May the child find in our attitude that genuine love which seeks not our own comfort or satisfaction at success, but his real good and his true happiness.
In conclusion, the child—however handicapped—is a person. He must be treated as such. He is sensitive to our approval and our disapproval. We can—and indeed should—take this into account in our effort to educate him. Yet we must ensure that our behavior is consistent (not approving today what we disapproved of yesterday) and that the child's motivation does not rest solely on a desire to please us or a fear of our reproach. This is especially true in his relationship with God.
Finally, let us always strive to help the child discover genuine interest in the action itself that we ask of him, in what can bring him deep benefit, and in the joy that usually comes from developing his personality and contributing to the well-being of those around him.
- Henri Bissonier (Ombre e Luci, no. 98), 1993
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