Your grandchild with a disability is neither an angel nor a broken doll. Help him make plans. Give him real responsibility—a task suited to his abilities. Water the plants. Fill the dog's bowl. If he doesn't do it, no one else should do it for him. You must find ways to help this child grow in his own eyes, in yours, and in the eyes of others. Be careful with him. Be wise. But don't be afraid. Encourage him to ride a bike, to swim.
- As grandparents, you have a special power: you can help your grandchild with a disability take pride in himself.
- Anything that gives this young person or adult a sense of his own dignity matters enormously. I will never forget a grandfather who used the tip of his cane to show his grandson—despite his handicap—how to plant a rose while crawling on all fours.
- Love him with firm tenderness and be tender in your firmness. Don't let yourself be tormented by hair-pulling, glasses-snatching, or abuse. Start by saying no—calmly, with a steady voice, "no, no, no"—while looking at him with affection. If he makes a violent gesture, step back and sit quietly for a moment.
- Don't hesitate to offer your help, to let yourself be loved and admired by your grandchildren. Create special moments: an evening without their parents, a walk alone with their grandfather, can untangle a conflict with one of their parents. A good snack with grandmother can ease the wounds of words they heard as judgment or a final verdict, help them understand that if they can't do this or that, they can do many other things.
- Your grandchild holds a secret that only he possesses. Look at him not as a child with a disability, but simply as your grandchild—one who carries that secret you have passed on to him, with all its light and shadow. Don't hesitate to pass on your faith to him.