Physical or mental disability: absolute respect
- Speak directly to the disabled person. Don't address only their companion as if they weren't there, asking questions like "Is she comfortable in that chair? Isn't she too warm?"
- Ask before taking any action on behalf of the disabled person—adding a blanket, for instance, when they neither want nor need one. Don't insist: "Trust me, it's really cold!"
- If someone uses a wheelchair, don't look down at them. Move to their eye level instead. When you look each other in the eyes, conversation feels more direct and equal.
- During conversation, don't be afraid to ask someone to repeat themselves if you don't understand. You're not drawing attention to yourself—you're simply trying to communicate. Keep at it until you both get it right.
- Find the right distance. Don't treat a disabled adult like a child. Use formal address if their age warrants it, and don't touch them without reason. Keep appropriate boundaries.
A smile is wonderful, but it must be genuine. Offer it freely, never out of pity. Above all, be authentic. Never promise something you already know you can't deliver.
Intellectual disability: you can't reason with someone who isn't reasoning
It's pointless to argue with delusion. Trying to convince someone that what they're saying isn't true is a waste of time before you start. Listen with empathy instead. Try to understand what they're feeling. Try to grasp what they mean.
Deafness
Shouting doesn't help. Many people facing someone who is hard of hearing or deaf will suddenly raise their voice to a shout. It's useless—and all it does is show them an aggressive face twisted into grimaces.
Position yourself in front of them so the light doesn't blind them.
Cut background noise (radio, TV).
Use short sentences.
If they don't understand, rephrase rather than repeat the same words over and over.
Don't laugh without explaining why. They might think you're making fun of them.
Blindness
Lend them your eyes. Offer help without imposing it.
Don't assume you need to guide someone across the street when they're just waiting for a friend.
Don't hesitate to describe what you see. Share, share, share.
Don't discuss things in front of a blind person—when others are there—that would leave them out of the conversation without proper context (colors, scenery, and so on).
From Ombres et Lumière no. 179
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