Roberto is a grown man. He lives with his family. He works in a sheltered workshop. His situation is much like that of many people with mild mental handicaps, to whom this issue of Ombre e Luci is dedicated.
We'll let him speak for himself. Our readers will know how to look beyond the words and to catch the sensitivity, authenticity, and pain they hold—even though a written page can only convey the expressions on a face, the voice that drops with discouragement, or rises with the excitement of remembering.
Would you be okay if I asked you some questions to print in Ombre e Luci?
Sure. I got the book. I like it.
What's your name and how old are you?
My name is Roberto. I'm thirty years old. I turn thirty on February 22 and we all celebrate together, everybody.
Tell me your story? When you were little, did you go to school?
The first day I was born small. There are three of us children, and I'm the first. I went to elementary school at one school. The teacher was good. I studied well. Dictation, copying, arithmetic. The last day of school with the teacher we all went together on a minibus... My mother was pregnant, waiting for Marco. I hurt myself with a bottle, I had stitches in my head and my mother stayed with me at the Hospital.
After fifth grade I went to boarding school. I was good with friends. First day I was cleaning the dorm rooms with the smaller boys, then the dining hall and I'd clean and sweep the garden too. After that I got bigger, I went with the middle-boys, I had fun and I was fine. I slept there, on Saturday Mama would come visit me and bring me biscuits and food and clothes.
Then there we did Confirmation in a priest's outfit. On Sunday the priest would come.
The assistants treated me badly, they were mean. One was good, Paolo, and Angelo was good too.
And after boarding school?
Then I was at the hospital with a cast. Then I left and I went to Laurentina with Sorce. I cleaned the dining hall and the rooms. They gave me 15,000 a week. I was good there. I was there a short time, then I met Giulio. And then all the boys were making posters, they went on strike. "Strike! Strike!" everybody was shouting. They wrote about us in the newspaper.
Why did you leave?
Then Rino and Giulio got me to go to Bolliger. When I was eighteen. I go there by myself, by bus, the 97 and I get off at a stop and there's the work. We sign the sheet, first we have a bit of coffee and then I go to make corners, that work. Corners are used to put the computer inside. All morning and I also make cardboard cabinets to put crutches in. Pino taught me. Then I saw how Tonino made the corners and I learned. We start at eight, at ten we have breakfast, and at one we eat, then at three we start again until 4:30. Pay on Friday, 35,000 lire a week. I give 15,000 to my mother and I keep 20,000 for myself.
What do you do with the 20,000 lire?
On Sunday I buy myself a can of beer to eat sandwiches and on Saturday I go to the movies. I like it. The first day I saw The Escape to... and Sylvester Stallone is in it; then Death Wish, Rocky IV... I go by myself and I get a discount because I have my disabled person's card.
What does disabled person mean?
I also have a pension, I had the visit and I get more. I have a bank account to put aside at the post office. When Mama goes to get it to buy me clothes.
What about Dad? And your brothers?
Dad puts up posters for the town and Mama keeps house, cleans. She doesn't work. Lino works at the computer, Marco studies. He's eighteen.
My brothers are almost never at home. I spend a lot of time in bed, I go to my room, I listen to songs on my recorder, I read comic books. In my little room I have the fairy tale books they gave me. Gulliver, Zorro...
Do you like comics?
No, I like fairy tales more.
What singers and songs do you like best?
Singers: Vasco Rossi, Venditti, Ramazzotti, Renato Zero. Songs: My Cradle, Esterina...
Do you like soccer? What's your team?
Juventus, Milan, Inter, Torino, Lazio, and Naples and that's it.
Who are the best soccer players, in your opinion?
Platini, Maradona, Berger. In tennis, Borg and Becker.
Do you read the newspapers?
Sports Gazette, the Messenger. I read when there are strikes. Once I played the lottery and once I won at cards. Near the bar, there's my friend, the pastry shop guy, he takes me to play ball with them. I won the cup too.
And at Faith and Light what do you like?
I like both groups and the friends. I like don Aldo because he's a Juve fan. Then I go to the 11 o'clock Mass because there's a choir. I go to watch, I like it. At the other group I know Paolo; I became friends with the priest because he has me be an altar boy and Father Angelo. I like the plays. I was the bandit, and there were the hens. Paolo was the rooster: "Cock-a-doodle-doo!" he'd go.
When you come home from work, what do you do?
In the evening Mama makes me warm milk with biscuits, then Mama has me take a bath every other day. Mama helps me with my back, rinses my head and dries it with the hair dryer. I shave myself. Then after dinner I go listen to the recorder and then I do the soccer championship with trading cards.
Do you love your dad?
I love Dad kind of so-so because he grumbles when I come home late. Dad doesn't want me to smoke. I like it, but Dad doesn't want me to. Many times once.
What do you want in life?
To go on a trip to Paris with all my friends. One day with Paolo and Carlo we're going to Padova for 15 days.
Alberto makes pastries, he takes me in his car to deliver cornetti to Garbatella. I go with him. At Christmas I was with him.
Gina is a friend of mine. She's a lifeguard. I met her at Ostia because I was tearing off tickets. She's married, has two sons.
Would you want to get married?
No, I like being alone. I want to stay with Mama and Dad. It's better to stay alone.
Have you never fallen in love?
Yes, I was in love. Carla is in Genoa; they won't let her leave and so I can't make an appointment with her. I like her. She's a friend. One time I went to eat at Gloria's. Then I went out with her father and the dog. Then I went to Mass with her. The mother was "sad" because she was afraid, didn't want her to come with me. She was afraid. I'd like to get married. To Carla but she can't. I like her. My brothers when they go out with girls don't want me to go with them. Many times I see Marco's girlfriend, I say hi and even give her a little kiss.
In '87 I don't feel like getting married, maybe in '88.
Would you like to have a child?
Yes.
Would you know how to raise one?
Yes. I take him to school, I keep him at home, I make him study.
How do you get a baby?
In the woman's belly. First you give her a little kiss and then a baby is born.
Are you sure that if you give a woman a kiss, then a baby is born?
No. Here, inside there and then a baby is born.
How much money do you have in the bank?
More.
Can you drive a car?
I'm not good at it and I don't like it. The bus is better.
Have you been sick? Do you think there's something wrong with you?
I had the mumps, a fever, my leg that hurt...
Why do you have a disabled person's pension?
Because Mama didn't want me to do military service. I liked it, but Mama didn't want me to.
What does disabled person mean?
Handicapped.
What does handicapped mean?
A normal man!
Does that word cause you pain?
Yes.
What is a handicap?
I don't know.