Absolutely. In fact, I'd say it's essential. We can begin—keeping in mind that this is no small thing, and that many obstacles will stand in our way: disappointments, difficulties of every kind.
In this issue, you'll read about the paths some people have taken, the goals they've reached, some experiences that have truly succeeded. These examples help us identify a few guidelines worth following, so we don't stumble into defeat.
1. Don't act alone—act together
The goal isn't a home for your child alone. It's a home where he can live alongside others like him, without his parents.
A single log burns, but it goes out quickly. You need four or five logs to make a real fire, and you'll have to keep adding more to keep it alive.
Starting this venture by yourself risks discouragement and losing the constant flow of fresh energy you need to sustain it.
2. Commit to a shared purpose
Different parents. Different children. Different personalities and histories. Different resources. Different education and experience.
How do you find unity in the midst of so much difference? There's only one common ground: the purpose itself—almost a mission to carry out together, to bring life, hope, and love to those who risk having none. Embracing this task deeply means letting go of your personal projects and expectations, and gradually building a community of people who share the same goal and vision.
3. A project is built at the table
Creating a project takes time to think, to pray together, without rush. Haste and anxiety sabotage good outcomes.
You have to resist emotional impulse so you can examine the initiative in detail, study precisely what is necessary and what is extra, map out the stages of work, and assign yourselves the tasks that come first and matter most.
4. Money isn't the essential thing
What matters is people who are determined, united, and resolved to see it through.
If these people can live in unity, with mutual respect and humility but also with boldness, they'll watch the mountain of financial difficulty shrink. Money isn't essential—though it is necessary. The project will need careful management and wisdom to accomplish what's needed, not what's wasteful.
Hold firmly to the belief that any initiative built on solidarity—on serving others, not just yourselves—will generate the financial resources it needs.
5. Start small
Every lasting initiative has started small.
When Jean Vanier created a home at Trosly-Breuil, his only project was to share his life with Raphael and Philip—two adults with intellectual disabilities. Today, the L'Arche communities number ninety-five, in twenty-two nations.
In Rome, the Chicco Community now has three apartments housing ten people. Just ten years ago, Guenda and Anna decided to open their home to Fabio and Maria.
Start turning the soil. Cast the seed. One day a sapling will break through. It doesn't matter whether it becomes an oak or a shrub. What matters is that it becomes a home where three, four, or five people with disabilities can live in peace and serenity.
6. Endure over time
You begin with enthusiasm, planning and working. Your energy is strong, your will fired by the new project. Then difficulties emerge. You feel the wear of time, exhaustion, misunderstandings.
People fall away. Money dries up. There aren't enough of you to think about everything.
Discouragement sets in. You don't know who to turn to.
This is why you need to build the right supports to keep the home standing:
- link your work to an association with real management capacity;
- don't remain only among parents—surround yourselves with capable people who have experience and aren't emotionally or psychologically invested in the project;
- know each member's strengths well, divide tasks according to each person's gifts within the founding group, and provide the right support for the formation and moral and psychological sustenance of the people involved;
- find time to refresh yourselves together, to recover your drive, to fix what isn't working, to revisit the project, and to evaluate things with calm and clarity.
7. Without me you can do nothing (Jn. 15:5)
When you undertake a project inspired by Gospel values, entrust it to the Lord. Only then does it stop being yours and become His. Your gifts and your actions serve His purpose, and He—if we ask Him not just at the beginning but every day—will carry the work forward.
The Lord's paths are not always our paths. If a project fails, others will see the light. Our children matter to the Lord more than they matter to us. With this trust and certainty, we can set to work.
We parents can do something!