Above all else, parents must prevent the siblings of a handicapped child from learning about the disability in a clumsy — or worse, cruel — way from another child. Parents should name the condition, explain it in simple language, and emphasize that it is known, that doctors are doing what they can to treat it, and that the child can be helped.
While siblings can truly help a handicapped brother or sister simply by playing, singing, and talking with them, parents must be careful not to ask too much of them. Watching over an unstable child is often too heavy a burden for a sister whose authority is still uncertain, perhaps even contested.
Walking alongside a handicapped sibling down the street can become an ordeal if you fear running into a classmate "who doesn't know."
Don't automatically side with the handicapped child, and don't let every family meal turn into a meeting of parents with disabled children.
Every now and then, place your handicapped child in someone else's care so you can dedicate a day or stretch of vacation to your other children — or, why not, to your spouse.
In this way, the presence of a handicapped child in a family teaches everyone, day by day, to respect the weak, to help those who are diminished, and to love those who suffer.
Remarks by Dr. Marie-Odile Réthoré to the International Congress of the League of Associations for Aid to the Mentally Handicapped, 1984
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