Here we gather the first responses from parents to the survey published in the spring issue of Ombre e Luci this year. We will present the results of the most significant questions in a future issue, hoping that many more responses arrive in the coming months. We thank these first seventy families for making their voices heard!
Thank you for adding notes to the questions—we reproduce them here, organized by topic.
These observations seem useful to us in highlighting the needs and requests that Ombre e Luci will address to the best of our ability.
Issue IV of 1991, appearing in late December, will be dedicated to FAMILY HOMES: we will offer practical advice on how to establish them and provide a directory of functioning family homes across Italy.
We thank in advance anyone who can direct us to family homes and residential communities that are well-run and truly uphold the dignity of the handicapped people they welcome.
I. Requests for Advice or Help with Disability
I would like to learn more about aggressive children. How has someone faced or at least partly solved this problem? Thank you.
Tina Morelli
I would like the magazine to connect with research centers studying diseases that cause handicap, and with families who have had positive experiences with treatment under medical guidance—not only in Italy but anywhere in the world. I'm particularly interested in my son's condition, which has been diagnosed as "psychotic with autistic defenses."
Teresa Battaglia
I want to thank you for this magazine, which gives me so much advice, help, and hope. Of course, I'm especially drawn to the articles on blindness and autism, since my son withdraws into himself. Thank you so much.
Hildegard Pasolli
These three mothers may, if they wish, contact the National Association of Parents of People with Autism (A.N.G.SA.). President Pierluigi Fortini - Via Cà Bianca 3/5 - 40131 Bologna - Tel. 051/6343367
II. The Common Dream: Family Homes
Some of these questions are hard for me to answer because each case is unique. My son is a fine, tall boy who loves life. He works at Caritas as a porter, but he is "different"—and what comes after is my constant fear.
Morandi - Siena
A thought shared by all of us parents: to contribute money—I'm not sure how much—to establish a center-home or several homes for our children, depending on their needs, for when we are no longer here.
Alessandra Antonante - Roma
Nine years ago I began running a work cooperative for our children. Parents are the members, and we use space provided by Unitalsi in Turin, Via Calandra 1. We have two conscientious objectors from Caritas and carefully selected volunteers. We have eighteen young people with various handicaps. My daughter has Franceschetti syndrome. I would like to connect with other parents and children like mine.
Minni Radicchi Tealdo
Coop. Nuova. - Via Calandra 1 - 10123 Torino
Why doesn't the Church open more specialized centers and volunteer programs to care for our children? Like La Nostra Famiglia
Marcello - Parma
We would like to know how family homes operate and whether any exist in our area.
Renato e Edoarda Saracco - Voghera PV
We would like concrete advice on how to establish a family home—we have a substantial sum available but don't know where to turn or how to begin.
We thank you in advance with all our hearts for any guidance you can offer.
Just today we learned that Corrado will be left at home to make room for younger boys in the cooperative... It's very sad. What will he do at home all day?
Nella e Renzo Campari - Fidenzh PR
We don't live in fear of "what comes after" because we have always believed in Divine Providence—God's and that of other people. So we hope that by joining forces with other parents and with Faith and Light, we can build family homes to welcome these children of ours.
Rita Ozzimo - Roma
I would like to learn about "Family Homes" and make contact with those who run them. Thank you for all you do.
Carla Perozzi - Roma
Create a family home—one that never becomes an institution!—made up of: sisters and lay brothers with a specific spiritual calling. Two or three families, some with and some without mental and/or physical handicaps. In a place where community and privacy can coexist. A flexible lifestyle, always centered on the person as a subject.
Discuss it and explore it seriously, the way you do. Thank you for all the good you do.
Oreste Casadei - Roma
I am ready to help create a family home with other parents.
We could form an association of families and deposit monthly contributions into a bank account so we would have enough capital to get started.
Rosa Maria Staforte - Roma
I am president of the AIAS association. For years I have worked with local authorities to establish summer programs and to create a social center and family home for people with handicaps.
Francesco Pastoressa Bitonto BA
I'm part of an association (P. Babini in Forlì) that already works with family homes. I do some volunteer work here in the mornings while Emanuele is at school. It seems to me the most effective way to help our young people outside the family. And it spares my brother—he shouldn't carry that burden.
Please keep making this wonderful magazine. You help us so much. Thank you.
Valeria Leoni - Forlì
III. Messages, Needs, Requests...
He completed middle school with good results and received his diploma to the satisfaction of his teachers and the examining board. This was thanks to a truly excellent special education teacher. Afterward he attended a regional specialized vocational school in Liguria for two years with no real benefit.
He is waiting to turn 18 to apply for work. Between 16 and 18, there has been no opportunity to study or work.
Eugenia Bosi - Genova
Since we share our situations, problems, and hopes with you, I wouldn't know what suggestions to offer. Whatever you do or say will certainly be helpful.
Elisa Sturlese - Milano
Each section heading is accompanied by a more or less symbolic image. The one on page 20 expresses help for the handicapped person; that on page 21, from a tapestry, represents the family home; on this page, under the parents' messages, is p. Klaus, assistant with Faith and Light Switzerland, playing a traditional Alpine horn; on page 24 is a representation of the Faith and Light emblem.
I have never had trouble bringing my daughter out in public. I'm not ashamed of her. I don't feel hostility or rejection from others. I've continued living as normal a life as possible; I'm actively involved in my parish and in a church movement. But it's hard for people to understand your suffering and worries. My daughter spent almost all her time in the hospital—thirty operations. Recently she was in Paris. She lived at the edge of physical and moral exhaustion. She was often at death's door. I don't have time to read Ombre e Luci, but I read other things.
Gisella Grazioni - Cittaducale RI
Dear friends at Ombre e Luci, thank you for the help you give us. Reading your magazine, I always find a word of moral comfort, and it keeps us united even though we live far apart. Warm greetings and best wishes.
Liliana Tomassoli - Perugia
Today, May 24, 1991, for the first time, through a friend from Faith and Light, I learned of your magazine and I loved it. I'm part of the S. Roberto group and will soon be a subscriber. Thank you all.
Grazia Servino - Roma
My only concern: I need help getting Stefano into the workplace—I find so many obstacles. Stefano can do things; he is self-sufficient and presents himself well. Help me if you can. Thank you.
Pierina Formiconi - Cesano Boscone MI
Thank you for your magazine—it's just a shame it's so short.
I see reflected in it all my problems, my fears, my feelings, and this helps me feel less alone.
Lucia Rita Liberati - Roma
The magazine Ombre e Luci is a moral support to me. In the Faith and Light community, I am working to launch a day center—a place for activity, recreation, and work for all people with handicaps.
Mimmo Sinacori - Mazara del Vallo TP
My son attends the excellent institute at Viciomaggio, where he is thriving, but I wish there were a public facility in Arezzo that functioned the same way. Unfortunately, I see that many resources meant for this purpose are often scattered in a hundred directions.
For my son, whom I care about deeply, I want only the best solutions, and these are not always achieved.
Elena Bruschi - Arezzo
For a long time I have been struggling to love my son well, to encourage him toward life, to try to help him recover and eventually integrate into society. Without his willingness, I have never accepted and still don't accept waiting passively. Is it life, is it morality, is it Christianity that I'm living? Is it caring for the least, as Christ teaches?
How have others found, in real life, friends, solidarity, acts of love beyond their own families? Don't abandon me!
Stefania Ferrari Calcagno - Cerete Alto BG
At Easter I went to Lourdes with Faith and Light, with my family.
I felt very united with friends from the other communities and am truly happy to belong to this great family whose spirit I share. Yet in our smaller community, things are often decided exclusively by the friends, and not always with the young people's best interests in mind. We mothers count for nothing, but we can't speak up because our children want the friends anyway. A little more sensitivity could spare some heartache.
Unsigned
I am the one who subscribed to the magazine—I'm Giorgio and Cristina's sister (both have very severe multiple handicaps). I'm the only one who reads it; the parents read nothing, don't know any associations, and aren't interested in learning about them. They're not searching. I've tried to bring them toward associations and groups, and only my mother responded partially.
Luciana Spigolon - Cartura PD
IV. And Also.... About Faith and Light
I would like to see an advertisement where people who own a house by the sea, in the mountains, by lakes, or have farmhouses anywhere that they don't use year-round could confidently make them available to people from Faith and Light who have limited means—so they could spend vacation days, either with their children or without, if possible. Thank you
Sonia Di Leila - Milano
Try to start a Faith and Light group in my area.
Dario Aquilone Giacomelli - Valdisotto - SO
I want to see a Faith and Light community created. I know people who want to start one with me: a therapist who is already part of a volunteer group for recreational activities for handicapped young people.
Elisa Rossi - Garlenda SV
I'm the mother of R.M., and we're in a Faith and Light group. I have to say we're doing well and have made good friendships, but it's only once a month, and no one ever comes to visit us or to pick up R.M..
Unsigned
More space for letters from people who work around people with handicaps.
More concrete help from Faith and Light—also for people with severe mental handicaps and their families. As the parent of a severely handicapped young man, I would like to be part of your family.
Dante Grilli - Roma
In our Acerra community, the most faithful friends are some people with physical handicaps; the parents, myself included, didn't really understand the spirit of Faith and Light. There are about six people over forty with mental handicaps (they come alone without their parents!). We don't have a priest to guide us.
Giuseppe Petrella - Acerra NA