A survey on the values young people hold most dear found family ranked first. Yet today, for all the talk of family, it is battered and denied. Shouldn't we rediscover it?
There are young people now who have siblings born from a parent's new partnership, whom they love as if they shared both parents—is blood no longer absolute? Even the importance of surname is being questioned. What more must we discover about this hidden world that is the family as it exists today? We dream of being born into a family. We long to create one. Sometimes we choose not to. Family is certainly one of the first things every human needs, and young people are right to cling to it, believe in it, speak of it. To truly understand its beauty, isn't it enough to witness the suffering of those who have no family, or who don't even know what one is? Parents, siblings, aunts, uncles—all those we gather around in times of loss or celebration—sustain us profoundly.
The foundation of family is relationship. The bond between mother and father creates the connection with their children. But if we see family as the fruit, consequence, and purpose of a relationship, we must have the courage to look deeper—to discover who truly stands at its origin. Who first lived in sharing, exchange, and communion? Only God. God is the first family. We could speak endlessly about the many kinds of families we encounter today. We will never find answers to all their struggles. The family must be viewed as God Himself views it—with understanding and tenderness. "I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners. I desire mercy, not sacrifice." (Matt. 9:13).
Once, we measured family success by the quality of human relationships, by lasting time, sometimes by finances. Today we discover that a family truly succeeds when it recognizes and accepts difference and weakness within itself, when it chooses to love them rather than condemn them. Every family must be seen as God's design. He protects it and loves it through all difficulty. Yes, family is beautiful when it flourishes. It is also beautiful when it is tested. It is beautiful whenever love dwells in its heart. It is beautiful even in divorce, when separating parents do so with such respect and love that their shared commitment continues, only transformed. This happens only when we look beyond the moment and choose to protect what truly matters.
God is love: let us dare to see His heart. He will never stand with harshness and exclusion, but always with mercy and tenderness. Certainly today, in our society, family holds an exceptional place—both in the attraction it exerts and the real struggle it demands. Pope John Paul II himself said: "The true martyrs today are simply all those fathers and mothers, those young people who accept living the Gospel as they can, wherever they are."
In times past, we dreamed of giving our lives in distant lands. Today we nurture and spread Christ's Good News in an everyday life full of love, kindness, and joy. Every family, in its particularity, with its joys and sorrows, can witness to this commitment to be a sign, a witness, and a martyr of Jesus Christ. The deepest heart of family lies not in looking toward God, but in allowing ourselves to be looked upon by Him. There is no family that is not born from God's heart. He alone is the origin of fatherhood. It is He who expresses it through the gift He created—the gift of motherhood. And it is He who, by inviting us to become like children, reminds us that all began with His Son.
God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—this is the family that gives meaning and hope to all our families.
- André Roberti, from "Alleluja Arche" no. 6/2000
