Teresa belongs to a category of disabled people rarely discussed, despite their large numbers. It is not easy to describe their struggles, because between mild disability and typical development there are no clear boundaries. Someone once said: "They are so similar that we tend to put them all on the same train. Only later do we realize that mildly disabled people are more defenseless, and we push them along."
Teresa's mother, speaking about her, says she is "slightly disabled"—words that carry all their painful weight. Many parents prefer the term "mildly disabled," and I will use it here. Others speak of "mental retardation" because they believe it better captures the possibility of progress: a delay can be remedied, especially when intervention is quick and effective.
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Teresa's handicap comes from a specific cause: a disease that damaged her brain. Brain disease, birth trauma, head injury—these are common sources of mental disability. Sometimes the causes are psychological: an infant abandoned by her mother, or a child raised in a place starved of stimulation like a hospital, or someone shuttled from foster family to foster family without ever forming one deep, vital bond.* * * *
If we sketch the personality of a mildly disabled person, we notice that her intellectual abilities are limited. Teresa cannot keep pace with her classmates in the usual way, but she is not foolish. She can learn to read, write, count. More than anything, she has a practical intelligence: she enjoys housework and does it well. She has grown up normally because she lived in a warm, welcoming family and was accepted completely, with all her limits and her strengths. Her parents and early teachers asked her to make the progress she was capable of. As a result, Teresa is confident and affectionate, free to express the reserves of kindness within her. Though she has felt rejected at times, she knows there is a safe harbor where she is loved without condition. This is fundamental, because the mildly disabled person is fragile. Her sensitivity is highly developed—almost a sixth sense. One mother says: "When Bernardo asks for an explanation and impatience flickers across the face of the person he's addressing, he withdraws into his shell... and nothing gets done that time. He feels so much less intelligent than others, and the humiliation is so great that we must be careful how we speak to him, because his sensitivity is always on guard." If he experiences even one serious rejection, the mildly disabled person will grow up with other problems: some aggression, a difficult or quick-tempered nature, a tendency to turn inward, lack of confidence, unusual passivity. In these cases of disharmony (sometimes present from the beginning) there are risks of delinquency. Gilbert Cesbron's novel *And I Loved You All* tells the painful story of isolation that drives a mildly disabled person, hungry for love and protection but seen as a nuisance everywhere, toward distinctly antisocial choices.* * * *
Today Teresa lives with her family, but her parents are aging, and soon the question of her future will have to be faced. Though she knows numbers, she cannot do calculations or manage money. She cannot think long-term. She cannot handle the unexpected—illness, accident. She wants to live as others do, to be free to act as she wishes, yet she knows her limits (even if she will not acknowledge them). Like other mildly disabled people, she accepts her parents' authority less and less. She also refuses to live with other disabled people. What can be done? Some have proposed support services that, through their assistance and counsel, would allow mildly disabled people a semi-independent life.* * * *
These brief reflections do not attempt a complete picture of a problem as delicate and complex as mild disability. The aim is simply to make it better understood, without hasty generalizations. Handicap never levels people. The joy we all share remains the same: to be recognized and valued for our originality, however many talents we received at birth. (O. et L. n. 41) Among our friends are young people with mild disabilities who have helped us understand their world. We have read and reread various texts on the subject. It seemed right, as a kind of verification, to ask questions of a young friend of ours—the sister of a twenty-year-old woman with mild mental disability. Marianna's willingness gave us direct insight into some situations and some problems.