These notes on play among autistic young people are drawn from Catherine Milcent's excellent book Face to Face with Autism, written by a mother of an autistic child who is also a psychoanalyst and child psychiatrist. Published by Sansoni.
Playing with someone else does not come naturally to him, nor does playing symbolically alone. Play is almost always too fast, and even when the autistic child wants to join in, he struggles to keep pace with the others.
He feels the sting of failure, withdraws, or gets left out. As he grows older, his attempts to participate become rarer still.
Teaching him to play—to practice as many forms of leisure as possible—is essential if he is not to become isolated.
An autistic person understands neither how nor why games and sports work. The desire to do what others do is not motivation enough. Without that understanding, he has no real reason to care about group play.
Until an autistic person grasps how and why games and sports work, he has no real reason to care about group play.
Until an autistic person grasps how and why games and sports work, he has no real reason to care about group play.Getting Started
Before bringing other children or adults into the autistic person's activity, he must follow an individual learning program—something like private lessons.
This phase often lasts years, depending on how complex the games or sports are.
Whether it's tennis, swimming, ping pong, Lego, or group games like bingo, the Seal Game, checkers, dominoes, or cards—introduce difficulties gradually. Once the game is fully understood and mastered one-on-one, the adult can have the autistic child play with one typically developing child, then with more children (no more than three at first). This lets him learn the rules in a broader context without becoming frightened by the group.
At first, aim for ten or fifteen minutes of activity; then, depending on how the child responds, you can extend it gradually. Leisure activities depend on what the autistic person can do, but also on age and interests. Once he can manage more than one activity, he may choose for himself and take the lead.
Group Games Indoors
As soon as the child's abilities allow, encourage him to spend time with others and take turns playing a wide range of games: snakes and ladders, dice games, and so on.
The goal is for him to master game technique and the concept of turns as quickly as possible. This opens the door to group activities that are enjoyable for both non-autistic peers and adults—activities that don't require much talking. Card games like Briscola and Poker shouldn't be ruled out if the autistic player is well supported. Some autistic children can even play chess, an activity that helps them decentre themselves and begin to grasp different perspectives.
Outdoor Games
Nothing—absolutely nothing—stops an autistic child from learning to swim, run, jump, ski, skate, bowl, play tennis or ping pong, or surf. What's needed is the time and patience to teach him.
Because the autistic child does not imitate and does not ask, he is often left aside. He becomes, in effect, doubly handicapped—as if his condition weren't already challenge enough.
Unfortunately, the autistic person knows only what he is explicitly taught. He learns little through imitation, unlike other intellectually disabled children whose disability does not affect the social sphere.
Many parents, educators, and others hide too easily behind incompetence to justify their passivity and lack of courage. Yet regardless of age, any skill that is missing can always be learned (...).
Improvisation usually ends badly. Anything unexpected or surprising causes him enormous anxiety.