Wanting to Love
My name is Andrea and I'm 33 years old. I hope the girls who read this will understand and won't just ignore me.
I'm a healthy guy — I walk fine and all that — but I have a small problem: I have a slight speech difficulty. It weighs on me a lot, especially with the opposite sex. I'm afraid of being rejected, or of hearing "but you're not normal" and things like that.
I know I have this problem, but I don't want other people to use it against me or throw obstacles in my path. I don't understand their attitude toward me. I don't understand why they act this way. We all have our flaws — so why can't they accept a guy with problems? I'm calm and at peace, but when I see couples on the street I think, "Lucky them — wish that could be me." My heart breaks and I cry.
I had a relationship with a girl who also had speech difficulties — we met on a disabled people's chat forum. We were together for five months. I was happy and excited. But then she decided to break up with me. That's when I realized something: it was very hard for me, the way she spoke, the way she walked. But we all speak the way we speak! I want a girl without disabilities who will accept me for who I am, because my feelings are real and I won't accept being trampled on.
Andrea Zoroaster (Padua), 2005
From China
The longer I live here — fifteen years now — the more I find Jesus's message of love for everyone, especially the weakest among us, absolutely compelling. Every day, God makes his "Christmas" come alive and shine: his presence of love among us. It touches us all and transforms our lives, conquering evil with good, with acts of genuine charity.
One day a friend stopped by and asked me: "How many Christians have you made here in China, among your coworkers, friends, and Chinese volunteers?" The answer came without thinking: "If you're talking about baptisms, in an environment where religious freedom of expression is 'protected,' I couldn't say. But if you look at the lifestyle of those close to me, I truly believe the Lord has evangelized a great many.
Once you know the power of love, you cannot reject it. Love makes all things new. One day an elderly man, Mr. Yang, came to see me. He said: "In a few years, my wife and I will die. What will happen to our son with his intellectual disability?" He sighed. There was silence.
I thought to myself: to love this person means to make his dream of liberation from suffering our dream too, and to offer him our young energy as his hope. From that day on, my coworkers and I began working to build a small agritourism center adapted to the abilities of people with disabilities — a place where our kind friends can visit them and help them sustain themselves. That dream is becoming a reality. It will require many resources. But together, through love, we can overcome even this small evil that wounds our brothers' hearts.
Fr. Fernando Cagnin (Hong Kong)
Jean Vanier from Syria
In Damascus I visited the great Mosque, an extraordinary place of immense beauty and grandeur. Many people sat on the large carpets, talking with one another or praying while reading the Quran. Children played peacefully. I loved praying at the tomb of John the Baptist, that great witness to Jesus who is venerated by Muslims in this mosque. So many men and women ask God for peace: that the walls separating our cultures and religions will fall, that we might learn to dialogue together despite all our differences, and live in communion with one another.
The 38 communities of Faith and Light are wonderfully alive in Syria — full of young people who share suffering and joy with people with disabilities and their parents. You feel a true family, made up of Catholics and Orthodox alike, encouraged and supported by their respective bishops, whom I had the joy of meeting. It is beautiful to see how the most fragile people are the source of unity among the churches. Peace and unity do not necessarily come from above, but from below, from the last who draw our hearts. I spent two days of a retreat with members of L'Arche and Faith and Light and their friends. I was moved by a pilgrimage to Homs with all the Faith and Light communities in Syria — a thousand people — with four bishops, Orthodox and Catholic, at the head of the procession. A true testimony to unity.
I gave two public talks in Damascus and Aleppo, each attended by seven hundred people, mostly Muslims. The Grand Mufti of Aleppo participated and testified that people with disabilities are the road to God.
Jean Vanier (from a letter of November 2004)
About Uscobupt
I always read our magazine with great interest. This latest issue, no. 87, is extraordinary. I've been a devoted "consumer" of Uscobupt for years. It helps me in every circumstance of life, and I see it's contagious too. Giampaolo's letter moved me deeply — may the Lord continue to sustain him and bless his little one! A warm greeting to those wonderful faces smiling at us from Feltre. Have you ever thought about how beautiful the smile of "our" kids is? I won't single out any particular articles, but each one is worth its weight in gold. I've seen the film "The Keys to the House" twice. I loved it — so deeply human, so true, free from sentimentality and pity, just beautiful. If you haven't seen it, go. Paolo, the boy in the film, reminds me in some scenes of our friend Valentino, who often came to our house as a young man. So many jokes while our three sons gave him a bath, so much laughter when they were all in bed together in the same room — only Nora, our youngest, had the privilege of her own room, but that didn't stop her from being part of the "celebration" when Valentino was there. I've bought the book "The Boy Who Loved Shakespeare," which you presented so well, and I've ordered "On the Bus with My Sister." Thank you for all these and the other suggestions you give us.
Trixi Pezzoli
Ombre e Luci Will Live If...
I've had a chance to read your magazine, and as the mother of an autistic boy, I found it very interesting and moving.
I'm sending you my address and that of my son's caregiver so we can receive the magazine.
Paola Vagni (Macerata)
Thank you for your kind words. We know that Ombre e Luci has real value and serves an important purpose. It deserves all the help possible, both to spread it and to sustain it.
Too Many Mosquitoes
(Malaysia, in the days after the tsunami) It was the Feast of the Holy Family. My mother, my sister Mary, and I were in the front row, close to the beautifully decorated manger. Suddenly Mary stood up, walked toward the manger, and started clapping her hands. My first thought was that she was drawing too much attention. I wanted her to stop. After clapping two or three times, she moved even closer and picked up the baby Jesus in her arms. My mother and I were a bit embarrassed. I went over to Mary and asked her to put the baby back in the manger.
When I asked her why she had taken the baby Jesus, she answered: "Nyamuk banyak" (too many mosquitoes). She had been clapping to try to shoo them away. Then she picked up the baby to protect him. For Mary, it's that simple: Jesus is her friend, and she wants him to be well. She doesn't ask for anything more.
Mary made me think about my own life. When I pray near Jesus, I'm consumed by my own needs. I never ask him how he's doing with me!
Our friends who are a bit "different" often surprise us. What Mary did, she did because she loves Jesus, and I am deeply moved by it.
Adeline (Faith and Light of Singapore)