Open Dialogue No. 8

Open Dialogue No. 8
Always better to talk about it, right? (photo from Ombre e Luci archive)
Archival content: this article was published more than 40 years ago. The language and content reflect the sensitivities of the time.

Classmates, families, and the school all shaped his growth


I am the mother of a handicapped boy. I read your magazine "Ombre e Luci" with great interest—it touches my heart, both in form and substance. A magazine that brings so much faith and light into our homes. Your last issue on school integration moved me to write and share Luca's story, my son's experience at school. In my view, it has been a positive one, despite the difficult moments along the way. He certainly did not learn to read and write, but he improved greatly in his behavior, his ability to concentrate, he acquired new knowledge, and he lived alongside "normal" children, growing accustomed to new kinds of relationships. He had good teachers who accepted him and tried not to impose learning frameworks without considering his real motivations; some were indifferent; others worried, even frightened. But all of it was overcome, because the indifference of some was canceled out by the conscious acceptance of others. His classmates, their families, the entire school—they all contributed to his growth. This does not mean, certainly, that there are no other negative experiences, frustrating for everyone involved. But then I ask myself: where are we going wrong? What are we looking for in our children's lives in the context of "normality"? Perhaps some parents see school as a cure-all for their child and do not understand it as a moment in their life that can be enriched through contact with others—as a stimulus for growth. Instead, let us look at what is missing in society so this time can become more positive: we lack the support structures necessary for true inclusion; we lack programs designed to meet individual needs; we lack workshops that can prepare young people for work. We must all focus on this, so that school integration does not stop but continues into daily life. We must stand together so that the first step we have taken—school integration—does not come to nothing. It has been important, and we must not forget it, because it called society to become aware of the reality of people who are different, to know them, to accept them in its own context. Today we talk about handicapped people; we live with handicapped people; something has moved forward. The hysterical crises that "normal" people once directed at the handicapped are far fewer now—and that is good. Rough as it may be, integration has changed the mentality and culture of the past. A.C.

"I wept at that mockery"


I am the mother of a 32-year-old woman with mild mental handicap. I always read "Ombre e Luci" with pleasure—it is clear and the articles are understandable to everyone. I was struck by a statement from a teacher in Open Dialogue that rang painfully true: "I see them handed a middle school diploma and I wonder how much we are mocking that person." I lived those days again—when my daughter was taking her middle school exams (she was 27 then), and I should mention that she attended all three years at the center where she still is. I should have been a satisfied mother, at the very least. Instead, I wept—precisely because of that mockery—because I was fully aware and harbored no illusions that my daughter had grasped the knowledge necessary to earn that diploma. She can read and write, but no more than that. And this was taught to her between ages 6 and 14 in a special school with highly qualified teachers and, above all, with so much love. Placing students in regular schools can work for those who can truly learn. Otherwise it becomes a constraint for the young person, anxiety for the teacher, and an illusion for parents who know full well that their child is in temporary storage. In my modest view, we should help, defend, and encourage private initiatives with access to workshops—built around each person's potential to work—so that they might experience the joy of a professional life that the outside world will not give them.

F.G.

Write to Ombre e Luci with your comments, criticism, suggestions, experiences, information about resources, initiatives, and institutions. In the world of people with handicaps, helping one another is a moral duty.

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