Building Together: Make a Gift for...
Craftsmanship for those who want it. Though the young people weren't particularly keen.
The activity the leader suggested was simple enough and worked well. There were squares and rectangles of thick gray cardboard, smaller squares and rectangles of brown paper (scraps donated by a print shop), dried leaves in various shapes and sizes, and cellophane.
Single leaves or leaf arrangements were glued onto the cardboard with a dab of adhesive. If you wanted, you could glue the brown paper onto the gray cardboard first to create a frame effect. Then you laid a piece of cellophane over it and glued it to the back of the cardboard. The whole thing was then held face-down over a flame (they used alcohol and cotton, but a gas burner works better) so the cellophane would stretch tight.
What the young people seemed most interested in was touching the delicate flattened leaves with energy. Fortunately, attention picked up once we said: "Let's make a gift for someone." Making a gift means so much more than doing a craft project.
The work involved simple steps that practiced taste (choosing leaves, arranging them, deciding whether to use the brown paper), and manual skill (positioning the cardboard and paper, handling the fragile leaves gently, gluing). Sergio was in charge of holding the squares over the flame—sometimes with disastrous results: too fast and the cellophane wouldn't stretch; too slow and it burned.
Mariolino from Bari was the most enthusiastic. He started with "a gift for Mom," then "for Lidia," then for an endless list of relatives. He finished his two hours happy, his hands full of small squares, each one with the recipient's name.
Sergio ended with less enthusiasm, having carelessly grabbed the plate where alcohol and cotton had burned for a long time. Alcohol on the burns—it's good, it's good! Then Ajax cleaner to wipe the blackened plate that belonged to the Cittadella.
We headed out to the Upper Basilica for Mass with Cardinal Martini.
by Maria Sciascia, S. Francesco Community (Rome)
Sister Death: Taboo or Hope?
I took part in the meeting on "Praised be You, my Lord, for Sister Death of the body" (death: taboo or hope?) because last summer, after a car accident, I came very close to dying. That experience sparked my curiosity about this subject.
The discussion stayed mostly theoretical, since few people have had direct contact with death. Being Christian should lead us to see death as hope. That was the most consistent and important idea that came up. But it also emerged that those of us who, like me, thought we might be near death experienced it as a taboo—partly from a survival instinct in that moment, partly from being unprepared to die without having done all we wanted.
This meeting helped me think through important things like death, suffering, fear, and our faith—with the help of others and their experiences. When we finished, I felt that each of us, as happened to me, had found more peace in facing these subjects than we had before.
by Paolo Braga, 17 (Milan)
To Forgive Is to Be Forgiven
For the meeting on forgiveness (which drew more people than expected), we used the framework Jean Vanier suggested in "Community as a Place of Forgiveness and Celebration."
As long as I refuse to accept that I'm a mixture of light and darkness, of strengths and flaws, of love and hatred, I keep dividing the world into enemies and friends. I keep building walls inside and around me. When I admit my weaknesses and faults, but also my capacity to grow toward inner freedom and true love, then I can accept the faults and weaknesses of others—and trust that they too can grow toward freedom and love.
Everyone in the group spoke naturally and simply, though we all felt how hard forgiveness is.
I remember some of what the group said.
- Forgiveness is a gift, but it demands our cooperation.
- It's a gift we have to ask for, to want.
- You can forgive, but you can't forget.
- It's easier to forgive a terrible wrong done once than small hurts that repeat every day.
- It's so hard to forgive the Lord when we're struck by great tragedy.
- A spiritual teacher once said: deep wounds leave scars.
- The person who forgives seems superior, but they forgive because the other person matters to them.
This conversation gave us the joy of being able to meet and speak peacefully about difficult things.
by Virginia Goffi, S. Giuseppe della Pace Community (Milan)
When I Grow Up I Want to... The Need to Talk
Mariangela Bertolini led a group on "What do you want to do when you grow up?" for ten young women with mild-to-moderate intellectual disabilities—all able to express themselves.
When asked "What will you do when you grow up?" many said they wanted to get married. But as we dug deeper, it became clear not everyone understood what that meant. One young woman said she'd had several marriage proposals, but when we asked more, we realized these were just friendly words, like "I care about you!" Mariangela had to explain that "I care about you" or "I like you" doesn't mean "I want to marry you"—and that marriage takes two people. A girl can't get married just by wanting to.
Another young woman talked about feeling jealous at her cousin's wedding: "I know I can't get married," she said, "but it's not fair!" We all agreed. It wasn't fair.
Then we talked about responsibility in marriage. Mariangela asked: "Can you manage money? Can you do the shopping for a family and make the budget work?" The idea of managing finances worried them all.
I asked: "What if you had a sick child—could you care for them?" I talked about what I've had to do for Sabina since she was born (doctor visits, hospital stays...). Everyone went quiet. One ventured: "If the baby gets sick, I'll take them to Mom..." The mood had turned sad. They'd thought only about the beauty of being in love, not the difficulties of marriage.
We took a break with Coke and orange soda. Not all the young women wanted to marry; one wanted to be a nun, one to stay home with her parents, one to open a shop. All of them spoke proudly about working and their jobs.
I think the conversation was useful, even though some of their dreams will be disappointed. But they need to talk about their problems and not keep everything inside. Talking together, we can help them find a more realistic outlook. They need to be offered alternatives—work, friendship, and the chance to talk with people who will listen to them with love.
by Olga Burrows Gammarelli, S. Francesco Community (Rome)
We Meet with Pierangelo Sequeri
Pierangelo Sequeri's meeting on Friday, April 25, in the afternoon at Assisi was packed: so many young people with some friends alongside them. The theme was "We Meet."
A large red poster hung in front of the seated young people. On it stood a stylized black cross—a reproduction of a modern sculpture. Pierangelo handed out various pictures, mostly clipped from newspapers. Then, after a few brief explanatory words, he asked the young people, here and there through the rows, to give the pictures back one by one. Each was shown to everyone, and we tried to say what it showed: a man alone, sitting, hunched over himself at the edge of a sidewalk; two little girls with sad eyes; perhaps an abandoned animal, solitary; a tree, alone too, lifting its bare and twisted branches into a desolate landscape.
Loneliness. Suffering.
One by one the images were glued onto the black cross on the poster. The cross—our crosses—the great cross welcomes each person's individual cross.
A series of slides projected on the wall—mostly sculptures by the same artist, commented on by Pierangelo in simple, clear words—showed the theater of life: first a single isolated figure, or two figures far apart on different planes; then two figures close together; then more. Then Francis of Assisi: he had many things (money, clothes...) that not everyone could have. He gave everything up, started alone again, made new friends.
This was the way past the loneliness and suffering we'd shown on the poster with the black cross on red?
Finally, the last image, another sculpture: a stone table with twelve stone chairs around it.
The Last Supper.
But this Last Supper was also shown on a second poster. "Who wants to be with Jesus?" Pierangelo asked. Everyone wanted to be with Jesus. So each young person stood up, held their photograph in hand—the one they'd brought from home—and went to pin it on the poster, around the table of the Last Supper. Those without a photo wrote their name or made a mark. Soon the poster was covered with faces and signatures.
All the young people—or nearly all—followed along. And understood. But perhaps they didn't realize that in that moment they were giving a living performance of true, spontaneous sharing.
The "lesson" was over. Thank you, Pierangelo.
by Enrica Cofano, Villa Patrizi Community (Rome)
Complete List of Meeting Points
1) "Playing Together" (service for people who are particularly restless)
2) "Making Music Together" (service for people with more severe disabilities)
3) "Working Together" (painting, collage... for those who want to)
4) "Building Together" (craftsmanship for those who want to)
5) "Improvising Together" (theater for children and young people up to age 12)
6) "We Meet" (meeting for about 50 people with mild-to-moderate intellectual disabilities and friends)
7) "I'd Like to Confess..." (meeting for people with mild intellectual disabilities and friends)
8) "It Depends on You" (meeting for people with physical, motor, sensory disabilities...)
9) "When I Grow Up I Want to..." (meeting for young women with mild-to-moderate intellectual disabilities)
10) "I'd Like to..." (meeting for young women with mild-to-moderate intellectual disabilities)
11) Praised be You, my Lord, for the Brotherhood That Unites Us (how to strengthen bonds among parents, people with disabilities, and friends)
12) Praised be You, my Lord, for Brother Body (how do we express our feelings?)
13) Praised be You, my Lord, for Your Obedience (what is obedience today?)
14) Praised be You, my Lord, for Sister Poverty (what does poverty mean today?)
15) Praised be You, my Lord, for Your Forgiveness (to forgive is to be forgiven)
16) Praised be You, my Lord, Because You Created Us Man and Woman (we all need to love and be loved)
17) Praised be You, my Lord, for Your Gaze Upon Us (meeting others through their eyes)
18) Praised be You, my Lord, for the Little Ones Among Us (does our welcome help them grow?)
19) Praised be You, my Lord, for Sister Death of the Body (taboo or hope?)
20) Praised be You, my Lord, for Your Church (Church of Jesus, who are you to me?)