I Don't Know What to Expect

Giovanni approaches his fiftieth birthday. In his diary, he reflects on his doubts and hopes for the future.
I Don't Know What to Expect
Giovanni Grossi (Photo by Giovanni Grossi)

I'm a man about to turn fifty. Most days, I live in a kind of anxiety and waiting, because every morning I wake up feels like the one before. Monday through Friday, counting down to that fixed day. I don't know what to expect from the future. Keeping my job, getting along with everyone, having a paycheck every month—these things matter to me. Love isn't really a priority, though I think about it sometimes. Nothing's come of it.

The life I'm living is a good one, even if I'm not sure time passing is good for everything. I have a gift for places. I go to the theater, to the garden on Sundays, and I see my friends sometimes—the communities at Fede e Luce. I remember the camps. Even though I'm getting older, I remember everyone by name, where I met them, what they said or what I heard from them. I don't have expectations. Change is positive for me. Doing new things, learning a trade and doing it well—that's what matters. I wish good things for everyone. And even when things go badly, don't lose hope. It all turns out right in the end.

===FINE===
Giovanni Grossi

Giovanni Grossi

I was born in Rome in 1970, to Lorenzo Grossi and Paola Pisenti. I attended kindergarten in Milan and in Pomigliano D'Arco, elementary school and first year of middle school in Pomigliano D'Arco, and…

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