Treat him like any other child
Treat your child as you would any other child whenever possible, but do not expect him to respond as a typical child would. Do not hope for the impossible, but never give up the struggle. Be grateful for the smallest step forward—it shows you there is still progress to be made.
Repeat, consistently
Children and adolescents with intellectual disabilities learn only through constant repetition. Your child must practice small tasks again and again—even very small ones—before he can do them well. A little each day is better than a lot all at once. When he grows tired, his attention slips away.
Give him time
Give him time. Do not overstimulate him or push constantly. A child with intellectual disabilities often moves at a much slower pace. Let him advance at his own speed. He will work faster once a task becomes familiar.
Keep him focused
Help him only when necessary. Let him do alone what he can and wants to do alone.
When he has a task to complete, do not let his attention wander. He struggles to concentrate, so it helps to remind him of his goal.Help him only when necessary. Let him do alone what he can and wants to do alone.
Until the task is done
Help him finish what he has started. Keep tasks short so he can feel the satisfaction of "I finished!"
Show, don't tell
Demonstrate how to do something by doing it yourself. Talking is less useful than doing. Better still, act with him, guiding his hands so he learns the right way, breaking the action into steps if needed.
Let him do it himself
Help him only when necessary. Let him do alone what he can and wants to do alone. You may do it faster and better yourself, but he will never learn anything and will always depend on you.
Match his abilities
Your child can learn only what he is ready for. Do not set goals beyond his reach. Instead, make success possible by giving him tasks that match his level of development. Do not surrender when he says "I've tried so many times!" Try again and again; you will see that one day he will manage it.
Give him tasks that match his level of development, one at a time.
Give him tasks that match his level of development, one at a time.Avoid failure
Do not ask too much of him. If you expect him to do what he cannot, failure is certain. He knows his own limitations; he feels when he cannot meet your hopes. And if failures keep coming, he will stop trying. He will resist effort, sink into doubt or passivity. He may become restless, stubborn, and difficult.
One thing at a time
Teach him one thing at a time. Only when he has made progress can you move to the next task. The steps may need to be smaller than you thought. Sometimes you will need to break a task into smaller parts and practice each part until he masters it. For example, there is no point in telling him not to spill his soup if he still cannot get the spoon to his mouth.
Clear and simple
Describe a task to him clearly and simply. Make sure he understands what you are asking. Always use the same words for the same action. Do not give long explanations. Long speeches distract him from listening.
Praise him more than others
When your child does something well, do not forget to show how pleased you are. A child with intellectual disabilities needs more praise than other children because he works harder for results. His interest in the world is narrower; his drive to explore and learn is, at best, more limited. The results he achieves are always too small to give him the will to try harder. Praise is what pushes him forward. If you are proud of what he has done, he will be proud too, and he will want to do better.
Confident he can do it
When you work with your child, do not make it feel like an exam. He should never sense that you are anxious about whether he will succeed. Instead, let him feel that you believe in him.
The way you behave, speak, and eat is a model of behavior for him.
The way you behave, speak, and eat is a model of behavior for him.Never scold him
Do not scold him if something is done wrong. Often this is due to real inability rather than lack of good will. It is fine to evaluate whether something has been done well or poorly, but scolding is always a mistake, especially when he has done his best. If he accidentally does something wrong during the activity, reassure him: "You tried hard! That is what matters. Next time it will be better!"
Be his example and his model
Do not forget the power of example. Many children with intellectual disabilities are quick to imitate what they see others do. The way you eat, speak, and behave—all of it is a model for them. Be sure it is a model you will be happy to see reflected in your child.
Translated from Mon enfant n'est pas comme les autres, Guide pour les parents, les amis, et les responsables d'enfants débiles mentaux by Maria Egg, Delachaux Niestlé, 1963/73 p. 60-65