Every parent wants to give their children the best, as they see it. A mother who gives her seven- or eight-year-old a smartphone surely believes she's doing the right thing. She acts in good faith. I doubt anyone would dream of giving their child a real gun.
But we're so bombarded and swayed by advertising that it becomes nearly impossible to think for ourselves, to go against the grain, to say "no, you can't have that" when everyone else does. When I tell my children "no, you can't have it," their worry comes out in questions like: "Does that mean we're poor? Can't we afford it?"
What a struggle to find the right balance—to help them understand that money isn't always the issue. It's about values, the ones I want to live by and pass on. So what do I do? What matters most to me as a mother is that my children don't waste their time and energy thinking only of themselves. I want them to grow with open minds, aware that other worlds exist beyond their own. I see families who volunteer their time freely in service to others, and I find that reality encouraging. How many parents and children go to hospitals, prisons, parishes, and war-torn or hungry places as doctors or in other roles? How many care for the elderly, the disabled, the mentally ill? How many devote themselves to the environment? What do children learn in these families? Do they grow more aware of the world's needs? More compassionate in their own small corner?
Volunteering has been a school of life for me, and it still is. I would be happy if that could be true for my children too. I wish volunteering could become something like "mandatory"—a subject taught in schools and pursued more seriously in parishes. Our children learn and are shaped by imitation and lived experience far more than by our words alone, our prohibitions, or our permissiveness.
Huberta, 2004