«A Family» is a short novel by Kenzaburo Oe, a contemporary Japanese writer and 1994 Nobel laureate in literature. Though his world—his culture, his concerns—could hardly seem further from our own, he speaks to us with extraordinary directness as the father of Hikari, born with severe brain malformation, autistic, subject to epileptic seizures, and yet an accomplished composer of classical music. We have selected passages from this book for our readers.
Hikari was born with a brain malformation, and it is no exaggeration to say that he only began to "live in this world" after undergoing surgery...
I noticed he took a keen interest in birdsong, and with an almost obsessive frequency, I began playing him a recording of calls from a hundred different species...
One day, in the woods surrounding our small mountain house, my five-year-old son—imitating the narrator's voice with perfect precision—identified a bird and announced solemnly: "It's a woodlouse!"
I do not have the gift of faith, but I must acknowledge that in his melodies I seem to discover something very close to "grace"—understood as virtue and beauty, but also as an expression, through prayer, of gratitude...
In August 1963, two months after Hikari's birth, I went to Hiroshima to write an article on the World Conference Against Atomic Bombs. As I recall, I was driven by an urgent sense that if I did not step back to gain perspective, my son's condition would crush me...
When Hikari was born, I believe I was in the midst of my youthful identity crisis—or perhaps at its peak. The birth of a brain-damaged child fell like a bomb into the center of that crisis. It was through that pain that I found my equilibrium again...
It takes a certain courage to admit that there are moments when someone in my family cannot control anger toward Hikari—and I speak above all of myself...
I have no doubt that the instinct to raise children is innate to human beings. But I believe there is something equally instinctive in a fit of rage triggered by a child crying at night...
When I see my wife's unwavering devotion to this different son, I am moved to my core. Since he was born, she has embodied true patience...
I understand compassion as the spontaneous yet deliberate capacity to perceive what lives in the heart of the person before us...
My son, especially as a small child, never managed to express a desire—not even the simplest kind. For this reason, I feel immense and profound gratitude toward my wife, who with spontaneous compassion and imagination discovered the deep need for music that dwelt in Hikari's heart...
And toward those who helped us bring to light what was locked away in Hikari's spirit, I feel profound gratitude every day...
As Hikari grew, my wife and I often said to each other: We have no choice. We do what we can. People with disabilities themselves, who generally bear suffering and hardship without complaint, probably face their lives of infirmity saying the same thing...
There was a period when Hikari often disobeyed or used his size to tyrannize his sister and brother. But when he rejects violently the person he loves most in the world—his sister—he does so because he is overwhelmed, body and soul, by a profound anguish he cannot control. Then, when he comes to himself, he spends the rest of the day staring at the ground, crushed by shame at his own behavior. The whole family, and his victim first of all, rushes to comfort him...
When my mother-in-law spoke with Hikari, she showed particular gentleness, and their relationship functioned almost as an axis around which the whole family revolved...
I had already reflected on why a society that marginalizes people with disabilities can be considered weak and fragile...
In our family, the fact that one of us carries a disability meant the rest of us had to compensate for his weakness by calling on our own creativity...
Over time, the family of a person with disability—drawing on its experience—can find its place within the community in which it lives, and can ultimately spread its message through broad strata of society...
Excerpts from Hikari – A Family - Kenzaburo Oe - Oscar Mondadori Edizioni, 1998
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