Dear teachers and parents of children with official support needs: I know you already carry a heavy load, and now I'm asking for more. The problems are familiar—I hear the same observations everywhere. "Andrea spends so much time in the hallways." "Luca never gets invited to class parties." "The teacher doesn't know how to handle my son." "Other parents complain that my daughter disrupts class." "The support hours and transportation aren't enough." The list goes on.
I'm a mother whose children don't need "official" support. And yet my family wants to be part of the inclusion of disabled children in our school community.
I want to know my children's disabled classmates and their parents. I want to be friends with their families. Why couldn't we meet with the support teacher at least once a year? We other parents—we who know so little about these challenges—would like to be involved in the real life of the classroom.
I understand there are real obstacles on both sides. Still, I believe deeply that including children with disabilities is right. They need the company and friendship of other children to grow. And for our children, having a classmate who is different offers something rare: a chance to grow in solidarity and respect. It's an opportunity we shouldn't waste. Our kids can learn that every child has gifts and worth, even when those gifts aren't obvious.
If families like mine were better informed and truly included, we might prevent painful moments—children excluded from class parties, kids isolated in hallways, teachers paralyzed by fear of other parents' reactions.
To the parents of children with disabilities: don't be afraid to let us in. Ask for our help on your difficult road. Trust us. Give us the tools to understand better and to learn.
We thank you, truly, because you give us and our children something precious: the chance to grow into better people.
Huberta, 2005