During the "Reconciliation Vigil" held in the Upper Basilica of St. Francis on the evening of April 23, a kind of meditation and sacred drama took place. Here is the text.
We hope this vigil will help us move from our condition of inner darkness to embrace the peace and light of the Lord.
We will look at our fears and our inner wounds and allow ourselves to be guided by His Word, which alone can reconcile us with Him, with ourselves, and with our brothers and sisters.
Many voices speak our fears: many situations in which evil knocks at our door. Let us listen again to these voices—they are our own.
Loneliness
I am here again, surrounded by so many people, and yet I feel alone. No one notices me. No one cares for me. I am in this empty room.
I am at home and there is no one, still alone.
Who do I go out with? Who does this with me? Who will listen to what happened to me? Who will hear my worry?
When will someone come see me? No one ever calls! Time never passes...
Sickness
I never expected this illness. I don't know how to face it. It frightens me. My life will change.
This sickness is suffering, but it is hard to speak of my suffering.
Why me? I have done nothing wrong!
Sin
They will never forgive me! If others knew who I am and what I have done!
But what have I done that is so wrong? Will it really matter before God?
Will God punish me for this?!
Fear of the Future
I will never make it! What is the point of going on? What will happen when I am no longer here? There seem to be no prospects at all.
Nothing will ever change.
Fear of Not Being Loved
Look at how I am. No one could ever like me. If I were different... if I were better... if I were more capable..., but like this, who could love me?
Others always pull away from me. Sometimes it seems they look at me as something to despise.
Death
Death. What does it mean to die? To lose everything. To lose my friends.
And then?
The void. There is nothing left. Death and I am alone?
Life, I desire life. All my life I have wanted this, and what remains?
And why? Why lose everything? Why now?
PSALM 12
We Try to Free Ourselves from Evil
We make many attempts to free ourselves from evil. We want to do it alone, but we run up against our limits and our powerlessness. It seems we might succeed, we see a glimmer, but then darkness returns.
- Enough! I have to free myself. It all depends on me. I know I cannot count on anyone.
- I have to free myself. I have to tear all this away from me.
- I have to overcome loneliness and fear... I will call someone, people who are able to help me.
- I don't need forgiveness from anyone. I will deal with my guilt myself.
- Better not to think about the future. Better to live day by day.
- Better not to depend on anyone. I need no one.
JEREMIAH 17:5–8
The Lord Frees Us from Evil
Lord, free us from evil, from all evil. Take us by the hand. Lead us to face our fears. Give us the strength to overcome them. This restores light to our lives and allows us to bring light to our brothers and sisters.
«Remain in me, as I also remain in you. Just as no branch can bear fruit by itself unless it remains in the vine, neither can you unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.» (Jn. 15:4–5)
Loneliness
I am here again, surrounded by so many people, and yet I feel alone. No one notices me. No one cares for me.
«And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.» (Mt. 28:20)
Sickness
I never expected this illness. I don't know how to face it. It frightens me. My life will change.
«Jesus said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."» (Mk. 5:34)
Sin
Will it really matter before God? Will God punish me for this?!
«Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."» (Jn. 8:10–11)
Fear of the Future
What will happen when I am no longer here? There seem to be no prospects at all.
«If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.» (Mt. 6:30–32)
Fear of Not Being Loved
Look at how I am. No one could ever like me. If I were different... if I were better... if I were more capable..., but like this, who could love me?
«Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze;
for I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you.»
(Is. 43:1b–4a)
Death
The void. There is nothing left. Death and I am alone?
«Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and all those who live by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?"» (Jn. 11:25–26)
Freed from Fear, We Reconcile with God and One Another
Risen to the light that frees us from the darkness of our fears, we turn to the Father with the words Jesus taught us:
«Our Father...»
«We reconcile with God and with one another by exchanging a sign of peace.»
Song: «I Have Peace Like a River.»