Faithful Friends

Beyond care: building genuine friendships with people with disabilities and their families
Faithful Friends
Foto di Hilda Rytteke su Unsplash
Archival content: this article was published more than 40 years ago. The language and content reflect the sensitivities of the time.

It is easy to find people willing to care for handicapped persons; far harder to find those who wish to befriend them—who are willing to ask something of them in return.

No matter how severe a handicap may be, we always have something to learn from a handicapped person. If nothing else, we can learn to be silent.

Some time ago, I watched a group of "healthy" children in a schoolyard line up, one behind the other, waiting for their turn to ride in their handicapped classmate's wheelchair. He sat on the ground, beaming. He had something to give.

When meeting with parents, young people must humbly try to understand that they cannot truly understand—that only the mother or father of a handicapped child can grasp, from within, what another parent feels.

Young people must accept this. They must always position themselves as learners, not advisors. Not people saying, "You should… You ought to…"

Instead, help parents see that you, as a young person, want real friendship with them and with their son or daughter. Help them understand that their child can truly be loved, and can offer something precious to people other than his parents.

Another vital thing is faithfulness. Building a relationship of mutual trust may take months, or years. Once established, that bond must be kept at all costs—even if it changes shape over time.

Teresa di Bertodano, a friend

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