An "Impossible" Friendship
In the latest issue of Ombre e Luci, Olga wrote—in her direct and charming way—some reflections on friendship at Faith and Light. Her words carry truths and wisdom worth sharing and remembering; they also spark further thought.
But I'm not here to answer Olga, or correct her, or add to what she's said. Rather, I want to explore the same theme from a different angle. For me, the most natural way to see friendship at Faith and Light is through the eyes of friends themselves (though I don't claim to speak for them).
A friend, even a young one taking their first steps at Faith and Light, quickly grasps that what's being asked is not mere help, but friendship. Yet they face a friendship unlike any other—one marked by tensions and contradictions that challenge them in ways they can barely articulate.
- Friendship thrives on spontaneity, on instinctive feeling, on the search for deep personal fulfillment. But at Faith and Light, friendship also demands fidelity and commitment. Sometimes it shows up as duty—hard duty—that we must answer if we are to be true people.
- Friendship needs intimacy, private conversations, exclusive bonds, small circles. But at Faith and Light we're called to nurture it within a group that's often large, and we're moved by the desire to draw in others who are now left out.
- Friendship flourishes among equals. But at Faith and Light, as Jean Vanier says, we come answering a call—the cry of the poor person who needs help, who needs a friend's attentive and understanding presence. The friend says to themselves: I am here. I want to try to fill this role, to be this presence. At first, then, the relationship is unbalanced. And when the friend does the work well, the world calls them "good" and showers them with gratitude and praise. How hard it is to step out of that distorted role and find the equal footing that heals us and saves us.
Friends feel these tensions quite keenly. Parents, on the whole, feel them less. For many parents, the daily worry is simpler: they don't want to see their children alone and despairing. They ask themselves: will there be trustworthy friends who can care for them? The disabled young people, outwardly, don't seem to notice these difficulties. Yet we know that the more balanced and peaceful the friendship offered to them, the more deeply they will flourish—it becomes the very thing that allows them serenity and growth.
If someone—a friend, a parent, a young person—is frightened by the difficulty or grows impatient, they can walk away or focus on just one side of the tension (creating a "half" friendship instead). But if someone is touched in heart and mind by a glance, a word, a face—if they choose to keep walking this path that Faith and Light offers, even if slowly—what happens? Parents, young people, and friends form a small community, a communion rich with life and possibility for growth.
Lucia Bertolini
Thank You, Georges!
Word reached us almost at the same moment—two pieces of news that matter deeply to Faith and Light's longest friends. One sad. One joyful.
Father Georges Paquet, who spent years with us in Rome as a seminarian and friend, who lived for many years in a community for disabled people that he himself founded, has entered the house of God. He bore a grave illness with serenity for two years. From there he will watch over the children he loved so dearly and pray for all of us. Thank you, Georges.
Thank You, Louis!
Father Louis Sankalé served for a time as national spiritual advisor to Faith and Light Italy, and for more than twenty years as a parish priest in Marseille. He has now been appointed bishop of Cayenne in French Guiana. He will carry his Italian friends in his memory and prayers. Thank you, Louis.