Choose Your Words with Care

I read Rita Massi's article ("How to Say It" no. 141) with great interest, and I can only agree that any word can be offensive or inoffensive depending on context and intent.
But I want to add a small note.
During my first year as a substitute teacher at the scientific lyceum in Caluso (Turin), the headmaster, Professor Del Giudice, concerned perhaps by the youth of our group of new teachers, organized a course on teaching method and subject matter. He taught the first lesson himself.
He began with the roll call.
Whenever we were unsure how to pronounce a student's surname (at the time it was only accents—there were no foreign students in class), we were to ask that student for the correct pronunciation and apologize if we got it wrong.
We were never to call a student rude or worse stupid, but always to say they were behaving rudely or foolishly.
We were also to avoid the word shy. When speaking with parents, instead of the usual "your son is very shy," it was better to say "he's a reserved young man—let him grow at his own pace."
We were meant to lead by example, and that began with our language.
Years later, reading and listening to Jean Vanier, I found the same call to keep watch over our words: "We say person with a disability, not disabled person, because disability does not define the whole person."
We know that communication is far more than words. There are looks, tone of voice, context, silence, habit, gesture, and much else. Some situations are objectively serious and complex.
But if we made careful attention to what we say—to the terms we choose—a continual practice, we might arrive at true kindness of spirit, at that deep lightness which can express itself without wounding.
Like small birds landing on a branch without bending it.