What is a child's natural instinct when facing disability?
Before age three, a child doesn't distinguish between himself and others. If he sees another child suffer, it's as if he's suffering too—so he does for that child what would comfort him. As he grows older, he learns to see others as separate from himself. By then, he can spontaneously offer what someone else needs, if he's had a similar experience. But a child has no innate knowledge of what it means to be blind, autistic, or in a wheelchair. This is where parents become essential. They must guide him, give him a framework to understand, help him ask: what would I want if I were in that situation? This moment of identification is crucial to building a social bond with someone who is different. Often guilt follows. Why can I run and play soccer but he can't? Parents need to help their child understand he shouldn't feel guilty. The other person has gifts he doesn't have. And their new friend will push his wheelchair when he learns about patience, kindness, true friendship. They'll watch a soccer match together, and suddenly the differences vanish.
How can parents help their children become attentive to the vulnerable?
The parents' own attitude will shape how the child responds to someone different or more fragile. Children imitate adults. Parents must ask themselves what they truly value. Is school performance and power more important than serving the vulnerable? Is beauty and charm more important than loyalty and genuine friendship? Are material possessions more important than inner richness? This is the real challenge. Both parents' words and actions must align. When a child becomes a teenager and plans summer trips with friends, parents might suggest that a week serving others during the summer could be worthwhile. Every occasion offers an opening—a pregnant neighbor told her baby will be handicapped, a law that disrespects life, a neighbor's child left disabled after a motorcycle accident. These moments show children that parental love is unconditional, no matter what.
What should you do if a child acts aggressively toward or bullies a handicapped child?
Aggression often masks something: the child may be repeating what he's seen his parents do, or he may be afraid. He might not understand what disability is, or fear it's contagious. If you punish the behavior without explaining, he'll learn it's wrong to mock—but not why. It's crucial to talk about it, explain what disability means, help him understand the other child's feelings, help him put himself in that child's shoes. At the same time, you must accept that a child may have resistances or aversions. It's better if he can express them openly so you can help him work through them. And when a child shows altruism or kindness, encourage it.
Interview collected by C.Q., 2016, from O&L No. 213