But Then He Gives Me His Precious Smile

But Then He Gives Me His Precious Smile
(photo from Ombre e Luci archives)
Archival content: this article was published more than 40 years ago. The language and content reflect the sensitivities of the time.

I was born three years before my brother Carlo, and I learned about his condition when I was seven or eight. But we never made a tragedy of it at home, and we were never ashamed of Carlo. I've always been willing to help my parents, even as the difficulties kept growing.

Carlo creates plenty of problems for me, but maybe he helps me solve them too.

Carlo creates plenty of problems for me, but maybe he helps me solve them too.
Almost all my schoolmates met Carlo when they came to our house, and almost all of them reacted the right way, treating him like a person. Sure, some of them—the more sensitive ones especially, at least at first—were noticeably uncomfortable. I haven't lived through racism myself, though I hear about it happening to others like Carlo. But my family and I face major obstacles every single day with people we don't know: at the health service for tests, at Rome's municipal office to arrange summer camps, at the Prefect's office to get his disability pension and care allowance. And in general, we're often left alone to handle medical emergencies that force us to stay up all night when Carlo won't sleep, wearing us down, fraying our nerves.
Carlo creates plenty of problems for me, but maybe he helps me solve them too. He's certainly helped me gradually open up over the years, break out of my shell, and most of all, overcome my own selfishness.

The biggest advantage I've gained is understanding that there are so many people in the world who struggle every day with physical and mental suffering, with indifference, ignorance, selfishness. And by standing with these people, I can live out the Gospel more concretely instead of treating it as a beautiful but impossible theory. Carlo gives me a reason to work hard and make sacrifices, even though sometimes I know I can't do much for him. But often he gives me his precious smile, and that tells me I'm not working in vain.

by F.M., 1985

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