It would be more accurate to call it a "retreat-campsite," because as you'll see reading these pages, this is not a tent camp for everyone. Some—usually the younger ones—sleep under canvas, while the others—adults and teenagers, some with serious disabilities—stay in houses.
The word "camp" means "living together" during a vacation (for a week, ten days, two weeks). Together: friends, children, teenagers, adults with disabilities, a few parents or adult friends, a priest or seminarian (when one can be found).
We wanted to present to our readers an experience that many of us have had over several years, within the Fede e Luce movement. It seemed worth sharing in this issue of Ombre e Luci—certainly not exhaustively; no single article could capture it all—to show, for those interested, how it's possible to vacation together.
The Joy of Life Together
We often speak of the difficulties people with disabilities and families with a disabled child face when trying to find a warm welcome at vacation spots, hotels, and resorts. I know from personal experience how hard it is to vacation somewhere you don't feel wanted, where people merely tolerate you (which is something entirely different).
Integration has made real progress over the years—in schools, parishes, at work. But there is still so much to do! I believe it is truly important for every child with a disability, for every "different" family to experience the joy of living together:
- where you feel comfortable;
- where walks through towns, along beaches, in the mountains, through meadows and trails happen without fear of unwelcoming stares;
- where getting a pizza at a crowded restaurant becomes a real pleasure, because friends are there to support you, unafraid of situations that would be embarrassing if you were alone;
- where every moment of the day is filled with signs of solidarity, simplicity, and spontaneity.
Suddenly the fears and hesitations vanish: "I'd rather go to our hometown, where everyone knows us." "I've lived this life forever anyway." "Where could we possibly take him?"
- And yet the struggles remain—the tensions, the frustrations, the exhaustion of everyone involved;
- some friendships are difficult, even awkward;
- sometimes you can't sleep as you'd like, because a child sings or shouts or cries at night;
But everything becomes easier, more joyful because you are together, and it's easier to see the humor in things and to say to someone: "Take a turn, I need to get away for a bit."
A Testimony Worth Shouting from the Rooftops
I can tell you that when I found myself at camp breathing deeply the freedom to be myself, I forgot about those "bad" vacations of the past and realized that what we were doing had to be a testimony worth shouting from the rooftops.
I remember, at one of the first camps many years ago, the astonishment of a local doctor who was called to see a child with a disability who had a slight fever. Looking out the window of the room where we were, which overlooked the garden filled at that moment with young people and teenagers with disabilities busy with a treasure hunt designed just for them—what a sight to see friends running with teenagers on their shoulders, or breathlessly pushing a wheelchair while others cheered them on—he turned to me and asked: "Tell me, ma'am, what do you pay these assistants each day?" I corrected him sharply: "Our friends come to vacation, and everyone without exception pays their own share!"
In disbelief, he started down the stairs: "They pay to come do this work! And for cooking—do you have professional cooks?" "No, we take turns with all the tasks." I can still see him sit down on the steps: "This is hard to believe!" As he continued down: "They pay to come here!"
This Is Real Integration
With that word "here," he meant something deeper. But I couldn't explain to him in a few minutes the world we had discovered together, where everyone, without exception, was happy.
This, you see, is what real integration looks like to me. I hope you'll experience it. And as always, I look forward to hearing from you about how you, too, discovered the beauty of a "camp" together in the summer of '89.
- Mariangela Bertolini, 1989