We collect Giampaolo from the center and arrive at the parish hall where we gather each month. Stepping into the room is always a surprise — we're greeted with shouts of joy and welcome. Maria Teresa and Andrea, with their daughter Isabella, have set the tables (it's their turn this month).
Cristoforo's mother has brought two bunches of anemones. I light four candles.
Celebration: A Time of Joy
Everything feels festive, despite the paper plates and cups.
At first, it wasn't like this. People used to pull out ham sandwiches, sodas, wrapped snacks—not much to look at.
One day Piero pointed it out: "A celebration needs real preparation. Everything should be done well, so there's more joy and we feel more like a community. We can divide the tasks and share the cost."
The high point comes at dessert—cakes, pastries, candles, singing, cheers. Our little orchestra springs into action, and to the rhythm of clapping, Andrea and Germana (together they have more than 150 years behind them) begin a waltz, "like we used to." It's their wedding anniversary. The happiest, most moved person there is Marcello, their only son. We surround them amid the cheers and clapping, dancing alongside them.
Sharing: A Time of Discovery
After the celebration comes the "sharing"—the moment of discovery.
We often hide behind a mask, build ourselves a character. Mine, I thought, was perfectly in order. I'd faced painful situations and wanted people to see it—to admire my courage.
That mask shattered quickly once I started listening to others.
Today's Theme: Forgiveness
Elisabetta tells us her husband left her after Laura was born.
Piero was raised by parents who beat him. He moved from one foster home to a special institution.
We often build ourselves a character we think is perfectly in order
Martina hasn't heard from her parents in years; she lives in a psychiatric hospital that isn't where she belongs.Giampiero hasn't quite followed the conversation. When it's his turn to speak, he says the most important thing is a beach vacation camp. Bernardo, who leads our gathering, explains everything again. Then Giampiero shares about a hard day last week. He'd missed his ride to the workshop and arrived late. The staff scolded him harshly. Furious, he didn't greet anyone and pouted. "But then," he finishes, "I remembered it was partly my fault, so I asked Jesus for forgiveness and went to shake the educator's hand with a smile. You have to ask for forgiveness, and then everyone is happy."
While Giampiero speaks, Veronica, Laura, and Benedetta—who don't speak—along with the youngest ones (Bernardo's children and other small siblings) prepare things for the liturgy. Today they're drawing, cutting, and coloring hearts in yellow and black.
Once we tried to skip the sharing time because the theme seemed too difficult. At the end of the meeting, Piero burst into tears—he had something to say.
Sometimes the parents gather apart from the group. They share their struggles, think together, figure out how to move forward.
Read also: The Fourth Moment: Between Gatherings
Prayer: A Time of Thanksgiving
At Faith and Light, we often use the phrase "strong time." In prayer, that phrase comes alive. If we love each other so deeply in community, different as we are, it's because we've knelt together. Yes, with one heart, we ask Mary to teach us to see Jesus in one another.
If it is a time of inventions of love, it is also one of demands: it is not always easy to love
If it is a time of inventions of love, it is also one of demands: it is not always easy to love.Half the time we join the parish Mass, but today we go to the small chapel the priest has given us. We like praying there with our friend, Father Paolo. He's waiting: candles are lit, the large gospel open. We'll read about Peter's denial. Each of us wears a ribbon around our neck with a black heart hanging from it.
Singing, we move toward the altar and place our black heart on a burning brazier in front of the Cross. In Jesus's name, Father Paolo gives us a new heart—yellow, the color of light—and says: "Go! Jesus gives you a new heart." Then come the intentions; Bernadetta has prepared a long list. Then hymns, a few words from the priest who makes sure everything is beautiful and sacred. We know Jesus is there and loves each of us as his beloved.
A celebration needs real preparation... so there's more joy and we feel more like a community
A celebration needs real preparation... so there's more joy and we feel more like a community.A Time of Faithfulness
Oddly enough, when we say goodbye, perhaps the most important part begins. It's a time when friendship is tested.
Sometimes it's something huge that turns a life upside down. More often it's so small, so ordinary to an outside eye. It's the daily signs of faithfulness that warm the heart and prove our love.
One day I was sick. I went to the kitchen and found an apple tart left quietly by Odette (I'd recognize it anywhere). In that moment, you know you matter to someone.
If it's a time of inventions of love, it's also one of demands. Loving isn't always easy. We once welcomed someone new. They never came back. No one had reached out between that first gathering and the next, so they thought we didn't care about seeing them again.
Sometimes we're called back gently but firmly by those who love us.
"Hello, Corinna!
Where have you been? You've disappeared!" I give Rosa all my excuses—real ones too (I've been so busy, I'm exhausted, I live far away). But then I realize she was waiting for a visit from me, and I never came.
I still think about Yvette's faithfulness—the mother of Girolamo, who recently passed away. He and Piero were very close friends. They resembled each other even in their struggles. Piero lives alone in a small room on the seventh floor. He'd withdrawn into himself, and we didn't know what to do. One day Yvette offered to wash his laundry. Now, every Saturday, they eat together while the washing machine runs. Piero is happy: clean clothes and a good meal together. It helps that Yvette is an excellent cook and never misses Saturday with Piero.
It's a time when friendship is tested... Daily signs of faithfulness warm the heart
It's a time when friendship is tested... Daily signs of faithfulness warm the heart.Living friendship, living solidarity—it can sound idyllic. But living it every day isn't simple. Over the years, inevitably come mistakes, tensions, pettiness, jealousy.
I think of Guido, a 35-year-old with Down syndrome. One day he asked me insistently for something at a terrible moment (I was responsible for a pilgrimage and three buses had just arrived at the same time). I told him to go away without thinking.
Three years later, after receiving the sacrament of reconciliation, Guido comes up to me and embraces me. "Corinna, I forgive you!"
Surprised, I don't understand. "Don't you remember? Three years ago at the pilgrimage, you told me to go get a blessing!" Since then, I haven't prayed the Our Father the same way.
Friendship, covenant—we'd like to establish it once and for all. Really, it's something we have to make and remake every day.
- Corinne Chatain, 1990
Read also: The Fourth Moment: Between Gatherings